Okay, so I just wrote my post about my funeral stuff and I was browsing through WordPress for others who have done the same. Bad Idea!! I came across so many sad stories. I read about grandparents dying, mothers, children, and spouses.
I should just hit myself for doing this. I always do it when Shane is at the Fire House.
I have cried so hard for the past hour. I read about a wife’s journey of losing her firefighter to stage 4 brain cancer. I could not even imagine. When Shane and I were separated, my world seemed like it was over. Read about it here. It felt like a death to me, but I have never really encountered death of a close person in my life, but this sure felt like it. I was alone with kids and he was no where. But, thank God for reconciliation.I don’t know what I would do without him.
Here is an excerpt from her blog. I sure hope she doesn’t mind. It has really touched my heart. Maybe because we have a thing for firemen, or maybe I am going fully on emotion. I don’t know. I just know how precious life can be, and how precious the people in your life are.
“There is something so tragically romantic though about it. We will never have what other people may go through. We will never separate, never divorce. We will never play out a midlife crisis and come full circle with each other. Our love was put on a pedestal, destined to remain a tragic romance. Something that people can aspire to…unfairly for them. For unless faced with the ultimate in tests, as we were, people will live ‘normally,’ as in they will fight about money, children, and other things. They will have Christmas or barbeques and not always wonder if it will be the last. They will go through days passing each other only on their way out the door to go to work or pick up the kids. They will not appreciate each other as well as they can. Because this is the normal, is it not? Until one thing happens to change your life…and makes you realize that all those trivial things really do not matter. Not in the least.
But you cannot tell this to the innocent…the ones who have not been affected. It matters not…until it is you. I would have taken the normal. I would have let you fight with me. I may have even let you win…(not actually, haha)” bittergreenmylife
She is definitely a strong woman. An inspiration.